Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
