Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He kissed a someone with a penis
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
