it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
