There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
