Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
