just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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