I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My vagina just recognized that song.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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