Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
