You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
