i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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