her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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