I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
