i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
