Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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