He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
