Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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