real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize