Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
