Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
