It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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