guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
