I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
