Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
