that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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