My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
