i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that's an acceptable place to lick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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