I wannas sexs uuuuu
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
