Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
