is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
