He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
