You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
