My friends, they love my intelligence
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
