it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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