It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
