I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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