i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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