i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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