he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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