sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize