My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ugly people sure do ruin things
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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