if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
