plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
