Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
