Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
