If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
my liver is dry heaving
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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