I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
