i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
