I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
