Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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