Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize