Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
