if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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