We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
