There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
vagina is talking i cant
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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