Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Holy sore nipples Batman
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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