I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
