Jerry, you need to find god
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
