im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize