let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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